…and Other Things I Would Advise Against
Subtitle: I’m getting too old for this shit.
Hey, moms!
Wanna get in shape? Wanna stay fit? Wanna feel good about yourself?
Then I have the solution for YOU!
Well, technically, I know what probably isn’t the solution for you.
DANCE CLASS.
Yeeaaah.
So, backstory:
I used to be a dancer. And by dancer I mean ballet, jazz, tap, a little modern, and then later this weird ballet-jazz-tap-modern-fusion genre that my high school dance coach was an ardent supporter of (but of which I think she mostly invented. She was…unusual).
And for those who have never danced, there’s kinda this basic underlying belief along the lines of Once a dancer, always a dancer, meaning that once you know the basics, you’ve probably solidified for life the ability to consistently muster up a bit of coordination while jumping back and forth on one foot.
So while that hypothesis may be true for the majority of the former-dancer population, my experience last night proves that it’s not always best to test out such theories.
(Oh, me, and my crazy need to express my creativity through a physical medium.)
At it’s core, dance requires three things:
- strength
- grace
- the ability to pay attention well
And after a long day of working, writing a paper for class, wrangling a toddler to the dinner table, watching the Disney Princess Sing Along (again!), and downing a third Red Bull to stave off yet another impending head cold, I was maybe working with 1.35 of the requisite 3 aforementioned items needed to not look like a damn fool at the barre.
Long story short, things didn’t go super well.
I sorta twisted my knee and ankle, I crashed into the mirror during a turning combination, I was embarrassingly unflexible during the slow stretch (moreso than usual), and THEN! I completely forgot what I was doing at one point because I was busy eyeing the hot male dancer in the studio across the way (Hello, Mr. Super-Built with the white tank top….How YOU doin’?)
My only excuse (and I’m pretty sure I actually said this out loud): maybe I’m getting too old for this.
Which is, you know, probably true.
Sure, I’ve got at least 5-8 years of training over the 20 year olds that migrate in from the college right next door, but they have the flexibility! And the stamina! And the ability to get 10 hours of sleep at night! (Or at least they should.)
This old gal – she definitely ain’t what she used to be.
But in retrospect, I suppose it’s not actually that big of a deal.
I started back in dance because I was looking for a cheap, low-commitment way to keep my ass and thighs toned. And thus far, things seem to be working, even if I am one loud, popping knee-joint crack away from hanging up my shoes for good.
And really, I’m probably never giving it up. Not until gyms become less expensive. And creepy.
